Before You Buy That First Smartphone for your kids...

Ahhh… it feels like spring! The end of the school year is approaching. Hooray, hooray, hooray! (Say the kids everywhere—and very few parents.)

For many families, this time of year also brings another milestone: parents of fifth graders start thinking about getting their almost-middle-schooler a phone. In many communities, it has become a rite of passage.

But before you go ahead and make that purchase, consider buying a dumb phone instead of a smart phone for your kids.

It’s true that many families need a way for their ‘tweens to stay in touch. With so few homes having landlines anymore, and sixth graders beginning to gain more independence, parents understandably want a reliable way to communicate.

And that independence is something to celebrate.

Walking or biking around the neighborhood with friends, without constant parental supervision, is an important developmental step. Kids learn how to navigate friendships, solve small problems on their own, and build confidence. Having a way to contact family if something goes wrong can support that growing independence.

But when we hand a child a smartphone, we’re not just giving them a way to call home. We’re opening the door to an entire online world they may not yet be ready to navigate.

Social media is where things get complicated. Middle schoolers simply don’t yet have the developmental maturity to put what they see online into perspective. Their brains are still learning how to manage risk, interpret social cues, and filter the constant stream of information coming at them.

Yes, there are concerns about online predators. But even more common is the endless stream of videos and content created by influencers. Some may have harmful intentions, but many do not. Still, their content can strongly shape how kids think about appearance, popularity, relationships, and self-worth. Children who are naturally trying to figure out where they fit in can become especially vulnerable to these messages.

A smartphone can quickly shift a child’s social world from the playground and the neighborhood to a 24-hour digital environment filled with pressures they may not yet have the tools to handle.  

That’s why many experts recommend a “phone before smartphone for your kids” approach.

A basic phone allows kids to call and text when they need to, while avoiding the constant pull of social media apps, algorithm-driven content, and group chats that can dominate middle school life.  Research shows that social media is best consumed once you hit 16 years old or older.  So, let’s prolong childhood a little longer.. Giving kids a few more years before introducing the full digital world can help protect their mental health, support healthier social development, and keep the focus where it belongs—on friendships, independence, and real-world experiences.

So as you consider that first phone purchase this spring, ask yourself: Does my child need a smartphone, or do they simply need a way to reach me?

Sometimes the simplest solution—a dumb phone—may be the smartest choice.

-Dr. G.